Remember the old game ‘20 Questions,’ a.k.a. a form of Truth or Dare? Q: How much more interesting would this game be if the questions were fundamentally UNanswerable? A: Infinitely. Let’s spice it up, shall we?
Why do I need ID to get ID?” (an insightful Mos Def in an old school classic)
What would we do without Wikipedia? (Just walk around not knowing Cher's real name or why Boyz-II-Men went from 4 to 3 I guess...)
Why is a barely-legal Disney channel crooner the center of a phenomenon known mainly (and disturbingly) to middle aged women as ‘Bieber fever’?”
“Can Americans afford to get sick?”
This last one is, of course, the only one that has been getting much attention in recent news (though Entertainment blogs have been having a field day with Jesse James and his alleged mistress -which begs the age-old question: "Why do men cheat?" A blog for another day, ladies). On Tuesday, President Obama used over 20 different fountain pens to sign the bill, after receiving a hearty handshake and a not-completely-unexpected expletive from Biden (hilariously audible clip of this also available on CNN.com) before announcing the passing of this historic overhaul of the American national healthcare system.
People groups affected include tanning salon owners, who will be forced to charge their customers an extra 10 percent nationwide. This tax is projected to bring in at least 2.7 billion over the next decade, which will help to fund the bill and increase coverage for more Americans. On the bright side, maybe certain B-list celebrities will think twice before going out in public looking like an Oompa–Loompa (*cough-cough* Lindsay Lohan)
While tanning salons are significantly cheaper than a tropical vacation three times a year (and yes, that exact statement was issued in all laughable seriousness by various tantrum-throwing tanning salon patrons who were interviewed by CNN Money), one cannot ignore yet another underlying question behind the “outrage” of tanning salon owners: In light of the current economy, what are the moral and ethical implications of capitalizing on a select market of consumers who purchase artificial UV rays while sober?
After Al Gore's diminishing-polar-bear-habitat hoopla, can Americans still justify the 'convenient' use of a rapidly dwindling energy and electricity supply for the purely aesthetic adjustment in skin tone? And those of you who “need Vitamin D” might be off the hook for now, but don’t think I’m not thinking what I know the rest of y’all are thinking: “Dude, can’t you take a pill for that?”
In a war-torn economy, Americans used to simply tighten their belts, maintain stiff upper lips, and send their ladies out in red bandanas to darken their lungs inside metal factories. In England, they “remained calm and carried on” (but then again, they have universal healthcare over there so remaining calm might actually be a viable option). Nowadays “tanning salon outrage” makes front page news. Granted, even tanning salon owners gotta eat so what can you really say? Except that Socialist accusations have reached an all time high for Obama, and comments following news articles and updates on healthcare are getting vicious.
Maybe the real question for Americans should be how to skirt the ever-complicating system and still maintain a functional level of health. Or a less solemn humdinger: how many minutes can you talk to someone this week without mentioning the word 'healthcare'? Ready... set.... go!
No comments:
Post a Comment